Wolfsong's Loyalty Series/ Darkheart: Scars
Darkheart: Scars OS: Drunk OA: Ed Sheeran Album: + My reason: I love this song. Almost perfectly describes how Darkheart felt after Wolfsong clawed half of his face off in Wolfsong’s revenge. Anyway, Here we go: (Not the best song choice, but oh well.) I wanna have scars when I wake up, On the right side of the wrong bed. Darkheart felt like he wanted to die. Or get greencough. His face had been mauled in the battle against Thunderclan three sunrises ago. Dawnblossom loomed over him, a warrior by her side. “You’re in the apprentice den, mouse-brain,” she growled. “Dawnblossom, don’t be hard on him,” said the other cat. “The battle left him in shock. He’s trying to get his memory back. Leave him alone.” Dawnblossom sniffed. “He should go to the elders’ den, Stonestep. Shadowclan has no use for him anymore.” They turned around and left Darkheart alone, lost in a swirling storm of memories. And never an excuse I made up, Tell you the truth I hate. He thought of a midnight meeting with Wolfsong many moons ago. She was Wolfpaw back then, and He was Darkpaw. “You look distracted,” she mewed that night. Darkpaw froze. He was thinking about Dawnblossom. She had filled his mind and caused him to fail at an assessment. But she was still pretty, no doubts about that. “I have dawn patrol. I have to leave early if i want to get some sleep.” A lie. Darkpaw was very good at telling lies. Wolfpaw looked hurt. “I enjoyed my time with you tonight.” She weaved throughout the trees. What didn’t kill me, It never made me stronger at all. Seasons passed, and now he was witnessing the battle. “Don’t kill me!” he whimpered as Wolfsong pinned him down. “Why should I kill you?” she hissed. “I still love you, Darkheart, too much to kill you.” So instead of killing him, Wolfsong brought her claws down on right side his face, tearing the fur and stabbing the eye. Darkheart yowled. It hurt as much as his heart when he saw her kill his daughter, Shadepaw, moments before. The pain still traumatised him to this day. Love will scar your makeup, Lip sticks to me, Love had scarred him. His face, but most of all, his heart. He shouldn’t have approached Wolfsong at their first gathering. If that hadn’t happened, he wouldn’t be sitting here while his daughter was in Starclan and his mate was spending all of her time with another warrior. He got up, and approached a patrol that was just about to leave. “May I join you?” he asked, as casually as he could. Wasptail just snorted. “An elder joining a patrol? Who do you think you are?” The clan deputy looked away, and ran out of camp as if he didn’t want to be seen talking to Darkheart. “Darkheart, I’d like a word with you,” said a calming voice behind him. Ravenstar. “It’s time you joined the elder’s den. You’re not very…useful anymore. Your skills have decreased dramatically, and I’ve heard you have fleas.” She sighed. No, Ravenstar! you shouldn’t believe the rumours Stonestep and Dawnblossom are spreading about me! “I’ll announce you joining the elder’s den at sunhigh. But for now, go and rest. In the warriors’ ''den this time.” “Yes, Ravenstar,” came the sad reply. '''So now I’ll maybe lean back there,' I’m sat here, wishing I was with her. Maybe joining the elder’s den was a good thing to do after all. After one moon of becoming an elder, Darkheart now spent his days in the shadows, eating prey, and dreaming of Wolfsong. She still loves me. She’s probably the only cat who loves me right now. What was Wolfsong doing now? Hunting, maybe. Patrolling, fighting or spending time with her family. All the things he could never do. I know I’ll never hold you like I used to. “Wolfsong,” he sobbed. I miss her so much. “What’s that, Scarface?” croaked the elder sitting behind him. Scarface. It seemed to be his new name now. “Wolves pong? Indeed they do, indeed they do.” The elder went back to his snoozing. That elder. Always mishearing things. Well he doesn’t mishear my new ‘name’. I wonder why. A piece of crowfood landed on Darkheart’s face. “Maggotface!” jeered an apprentice. Darkheart didn’t bother to clean himself. There was nothing to live for now. He would never see Wolfsong again, Dawnblossom had abandoned him, and his daughter was dead. His clan looked down on him like a traitor. Starclan would be better than the life he was living now. “Darkheart,” called Ravenstar. “I’d like to try you out on a patrol. The battle left us with few fit warriors, and I’d like to give you a second chance.” Darkheart was ecstatic. He raced out of the den and followed Ravenstar’s patrol out of camp. But a house gets cold when you turn up the heating, Without you to hold I’ll be freezing. “It’s cold today,” remarked Darkheart as they headed for the border. Ravenstar gave him a confused look. “Really?” she asked. “But it feels scorching hot today.” A strange thing was that Darkheart didn’t feel the cold all over his body, it was only one place that was colder than a block of ice: his heart. The patrol walked in silence for the rest of the journey. Only Wolfsong could thaw his heart. Can’t rely on my heart to beat it, ‘cause you take part of it every evening. Once the patrol was over, Darkheart was allowed a piece of prey and a few nights in the warriors’ den. He saw Wolfsong on the patrol with one of her kits—the tortoiseshell one—and her mate. Every time he thought of her a part of his heart was stolen. By her. Each though would result in a stolen piece until his heart fully belonged to Wolfsong. His love, his loyalty, and his heart. He would watch over her from Starclan if he was to die soon, and one day they would meet again. No matter how hard he tried, Darkheart couldn’t melt his frozen heart. It was frozen in times of when he was with Wolfsong, some of the happiest times of his life. Take words out of my mouth just from breathing, Replace with phrases like ‘when you leaving me?’ One day, he decided to stand up to Dawnblossom, and prove Shadowclan wrong. He stood before Dawnblossom at Sunset, figuring out what to say. “Well?” she asked, her tone impatient. “You’re wasting my time. When are you going to Starclan, mouse-heart?” Dawnblossom had crushed Darkheart’s confidence. The words that were just starting to form in Darkheart’s mouth had crumbled to dust. Maybe he should go to Starclan. Revisiting the times when he was an apprentice with Wolfsong. It was much better than living in a clan where everyone looked down on him. Should I, should I? Darkheart managed to sneak out of camp undiscovered, probably due to the fact that no-one bothered to pay attention to him anymore. He was going to get himself to Starclan, slowly and secretly. It was going to take a few days, but the sooner, the better. His clan didn’t care about him anymore. Starclan would probably be the best place to go. He unsheathed his claws. Should I really do this? ''he thought. He raked his claws over his side, wincing at the pain. '''Maybe I’ll get scars again,' I’ll get scars, again, I’ll get scars, again, “Tsk, tsk. The elder has some scars,” muttered the medicine cat the next day.. Lionstorm picked up a deathberry and held it close to Darkheart’s face. “No objecting or my whole poison store goes down your throat,” he growled, “and this is just a part of it.” “I’m going to the gathering tonight,” mewed Darkheart, trying to start a conversation. “Are you?” Lionstorm didn’t reply. “Oh,” muttered Darkheart. He slept as the medicine cat dressed his scars with a sickening poultice. Darkheart was going to the gathering tonight. Maybe he would see Wolfsong. To feel a bit of love. Ravenstar and the eight cats she had chosen to attend the gathering ran at a brisk pace. Darkheart trailed behind. He might see Wolfsong again! Catch up with the others. Show her you’re still strong. Shadowclan were the last to arrive at the island. Fortunately, Wolfsong was there. “Don’t talk to me,” she sobbed as Darkheart approached her. I wanna hold your heart in both hands, Not watch it fizzle at the bottom of a Coke can. “Wolfsong, tell me what’s wrong.” Wolfsong looked over her shoulder. “Braveheart’s dead. He’s my father. He died of wounds from the…” she broke down into tears again. Darkheart licked her ears. “I have too,” he replied. “I forgive you for what you did.” Wolfsong looked at him in stunned silence. “Shadowclan have been treating me like mouse bile,” he mewed, “Dawnblossom most of all. She now spends all her time with a warrior named Stonestep. I’ve been sleeping in the elders’ den. It’s like there’s nothing left to live for.” He looked into Wolfsong’s eyes, green meeting with blue. “Except you.” Wolfsong looked flattered. “Darkheart, I have a mate…” “I know.” And I’ve got no plans For the weekend. “What’s been happening in Thunderclan recently?” he asked. “My kits have gotten their warrior names! Mapleblaze, Tigerfang, Brokenstone, and Hawkfeather. Cats have died. Hollyberry’s ill. And you?” “Just depression, heartbreak and the so-called joys of being an ‘elder’. I’m still a warrior though.” They both laughed. “Nightclaw isn’t here, nor is Foxfoot. Want to spend some time together?” she asked him. Darkheart felt ecstatic. it was the first time in moons that he got to spend time with his first love. So should we speak them? Keep it between friends? “Who else died?” he asked Wolfsong. Wolfsong shrugged. “Briarfire, along with her unborn kits, warriors called Smalltail and Rivershine. But don’t tell anyone. I don’t want any cats thinking Thunderclan’s weak. Because they aren’t.” “I promise.” “Good.” Though I’ll know you’ll never love me, like you used to. Wolfsong had a mate now. And kits. Darkheart didn’t. Times had changed, and it was time to move on. But he couldn’t. “I’m sorry that you feel like you do, Darkheart.” said Wolfsong as Thunderclan were leaving the gathering. It ended early. “But I still love you, you know that, right. But not as much as I used to. My love has to be shared between my mate, family, clan, and you.” Darkheart said the words he’d wanted to say all night: “All my love is for you. Nothing else is more deserving of it than you, even if you did ruin my face.” “Thank you Darkheart,” she purred. “I am honoured.” “Wolfsong!” a voice called out. “Sorry, have to go now.” She gave him one more lick and departed. The night had been perfect. No Shadowclan, no Dawnblossom, just him and Wolfsong. There may be other people like us, you see the flicker of the clipper when they light up, Forbidden love has happened before. Bluestar and Oakheart. Leafpool and Crowfeather. The list goes on. Wolfsong made him happy. Truly happy. Unlike Dawnblossom. But forbidden love didn’t end happily. Examples? Mosskit died. Cinderpelt died. For Darkheart, his daughter died, half of his face got ripped off, and his clan acts like he doesn’t exist. Breaking the warrior code sure has its ups and downs. Flames just create us, Burns don’t heal like before, Wolfsong and Dawnblossom had helped him be the warrior that he was. But they hurt him, causing wounds that would not heal. Wolfsong had ruined his reputation in the clan, but he still loved her. Dawnblossom had rejected him and had spread rumours, despite all the support and kind words she had given him when they were mates. You don’t hold me anymore. Now there was no-one in his clan to comfort him. Was it all because of Wolfsong? Or all because of Dawnblossom? On cold days Coldplay’s out like the band’s name, I know I can’t heal things with a handshake, I can’t change things, however hard I try. The past is in the past. If only I could go back in time… You know I can change, as I began saying, You cut me wide open like landscape, But I can change myself, even when every cat I know tries to make me miserable. Except Wolfsong. She was only trying to do what she felt was right for her. Open bottles of beer but never champagne, To applaud you with the sound that my hands make. Wolfsong had a family now. Darkheart was beyond envy. Half of his family was in Starclan, while the other despised him. At least Wolfsong has a happy life, ''he thought. '''Should I, Should I?' “Getting scars again?” sneered Lionstorm when he returned from the gathering. '' I am. Tonight. Got a problem with that, Lionstorm?'' Maybe I’ll get scars, again, I’ll get scars, again, I’ll get scars, again, Greenleaf twoleg place, midnight. Another night. Another scar. All because he loved Wolfsong. Darkheart clawed his muzzle this time. Blood dripped on the ground. He washed the wound, applied the same herbs he used Lionstorm use in the morning, wrapped it up with cobwebs, and headed back home. To feel a little love. I love you, Wolfsong, ''his mind said when he fell asleep. ''I scar myself for you. All by myself, I’m here again, Darkheart had a dream. The same dream he had been dreaming for the past moon. He was alone, in a dark, scary cave. Suddenly a wave crashed over him. Darkheart saw his life flash before him, but only the worst moments. These are only a few: His mother’s death. His first gathering as a warrior. The battle. All by myself, You know I’ll never change, “Don’t bother to change yourself,” hissed a she-cat’s voice. It was not Dawnblossom, Wolfsong, or any other she-cat he knew. “But why?” he wailed into the cold, enclosed air. “You’ll fail.” The voice laughed. Not a merry laugh. A menacing, humiliating laugh. “You’ll fail like you have before with all the other things in your life.” A final wave towered above him, and it toppled down on him. A last, desperate shriek filled the air. Then there was only blackness. All by myself, All by myself, Darkheart woke up in the warriors’ den. Alone. The dawn patrols have probably just gone out, ''he guessed. He peeked outside, to find that groups of cats were coming into the camp, some carrying prey, others news. ''Wow, I must have slept in really late. He looked around the camp. These cats meant nothing to him. As he meant nothing to them. I’m just scarred, again, I’ll get scars, again, I’ll get scars, again, ' The scars on his pelt would heal, but the ones on his heart would not. They would keep coming, until the day he joined Starclan. ''And maybe, ''he thought, ''I would be happy again. '''To feel a bit of love.